After several attempts over the years to get an answer from my mother (out of my strange childhood desire to learn Spanish and her disappointment when she could not teach me), I have figured that it was a combination of a few things:
First, the matriarchal idea of raising children is usually not only a responsible of the mother, but also older sisters. My mother has two older sisters, and each one had a hand in raising her. Knowing that she would need to learn English for school and other social events, they perhaps saw it more beneficial to use their efforts to only teach her English. This would also explain why my mother has the best English grammar of all of her siblings (I notice these things, and I often get awful stares when I try to correct my family's grammar).
Second, my mother is the youngest of the children. Being the youngest myself, I am aware that we are often (for lack of a better word) spoiled and things are generally made easier for us. Rather than putting the "baby" through the hassle of learning two languages, my grandparents perhaps decided only to use their efforts to teach her the language that she would most need.
In both points, I realize the notion of English being the language "needed" in this society. I now realize that our generation and many more to come are going to be just like my mother: only learning and using the language that we "need," thus tearing ourselves farther and farther from our roots.
3 comments:
I like that you realized that what your grandparents did to your mother was indeed removing her further away from her roots.
I, like you and your mom, am the youngest of four children, and I guess I am spoiled as well, however, my situation was completely different. My parents are Mexican and taught all of my brothers both languages as we were growing up. My brothers and I went to a bilingual school in Downtown Chicago. As I was growing up, I remember asking my mother why it was important to learn both english and spanish, her response was the following: "una persona que habla dos lenguages vale por dos" meaning a person that speaks two languages has the same value as being two different people.
What happened with your mom was a different situation than mine and than many other people that I know. All of my friends (some are half caucasian, but half latina/o) speak both spanish and english fleuntly. I am the second generation just like your mother and I know that my children will be fluent in both languages. Also, knowing spanish allows me to communicate and understand my culture more. Being bilingual is a great asset to a person, and it just makes one more stronger.
I have also had an experience similar to this. My parents immigrated here from Taiwan in the 70's. They arrived knowing very little English. They also had a hard time getting jobs because of their lack of language skills and suffered for the first few years in the States. Growing up, I was exposed to an environment of strictly Chinese culture. I only spoke Chinese until I was about 3 or 4. At that time, my parents decided I needed to learn English so I could go to school. They sent me to an American day care where I learned the language and eventually lost Chinese. Now, I can only understand Chinese. My speaking abilities are very shakey and I can't read or write in it. I wish I had been able to keep my knowledge of the language . I can see why my parents forced me to learn English but I wish they would have pushed me to retain Chinese as well. I think it is really unfortunate that I lost the language due to the pressure to assimilate into American culture. In the future, I want to relearn Chinese and become fluent again. Hopefully, I will be able to pass it on to my children as well.
My situation is very similar to Alison's experience. I had, and still have, a desire to learn more Korean. I signed up for a Korean class this semester, and I'm so glad I did. All the kids in there were Korean-American, and we all had the problem of knowing how to speak Korean but definitely not knowing how to write and use proper grammar. My parents have noticed a considerable change in the way I speak and my vocabulary. It's still sad that we give up something that's important in order to assimilate into the mainstream. Hopefully, I'll be fluent in Korean to be able to teach my kids Korean.
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